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If you come here as a couple for therapeutic work on your relationship, you will have an opportunity which is very different from any that is available in most relationships most of the time. It can seem like a holiday simply because of the surroundings and the fact that your everyday needs are catered for. That in itself can offer relief, though it can also be a challenge. But you will be bringing an expectancy, that, in whatever way you each may wish, this could make a difference.
Couples therapeutic work at Le Sentier Tranquille is different from couples counselling in the normal way, in that the ever-present backdrop is a social (we prefer to call it community) setting. That means an invitation always to come into that community not just as individuals but as your relationship. The effect can be to discover that discomfort, and perhaps distress, can be and sometimes have to be, a part of living, without defining a life.
Another difference is that I can work with both partners together, or either, or each - whatever may be agreed between us and offers the possibility of a path to where you want to go. What there can never be is work which is not known about to both partners. What I will never be is a channel for passing information. I will offer confidentiality to each of you, but commitment to where the relationship has to go.
On your first full day here we will start with a session of about an hour, in which you can describe together what your world is like, what it’s like leaving it to spend the few days here, what are the difficulties for each of you in making that temporary break. Then we will work between us on what you would like to be different when you leave. At this point, if I think your expectations are going to get in the way of using your time here effectively, I will tell you.
After a break I will have a short session with each of you, so that I can hear where you are in terms of the things most important in your life, what are your hopes and fears and wishes. I use these sessions to get a feel for you as individuals and the possible ways I can work which will be in tune with the people you each are.
Following lunch I will give you a route for a walk (taking into account any health and capability issues) with suggestions for how to use it, and when you return, we will have a session where we will start to plan out your stay. Your days may follow a pattern or we may find that spontaneity works best, but I will use my experience of working alongside the dynamics of a relationship to find ways to help you listen to each other and to the resonance you can find in each other.
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